Recovering, Dama Dancing, Water Leakage, No Gas, EVs

March 12^th Back to Wuzhishan and some semblance of what passes for normality round here. The gas has still not been sorted out and we still have water leakage problems from somewhere upstairs. The woman who runs the shop on the ground floor is blaming us, up on the seventh floor. It seems that as if by magic, the water is skipping all the floors in-between and going straight from ours to hers! We do know that it is coming through our ceiling and is affecting both the kitchen and our office.

Nothing could be sorted today and probably won’t be in the near future either. Instead I got on with updating my photo albums and the hospital blog.

March 13th It was a pleasure to sleep in our own bed last night, I only had to get up once! Also a plus, no leakage, which pleased Huan as of course she is sharing the bed. Being back home, and with an empty fridge, today became a shopping day. Not so good for me, I seem to be catching a cold and I decided to have a sneeze half way round, ooohh, much pain in the belly area and a little spurt! Still, it’s not as bad as I thought it would be. When we got home our roles were reversed, I carried the eggs upstairs while Huan carried the shopping bags. Lifting heavy things is banned for a while! Thank God the water delivery man carries the bottles into the house for us. Spent the rest of the day on dashcam work.

Huan became a whirling dervish and after a bit of a shouting match on the phone she disappeared for a while. When she eventually came back it seemed that she had galvanised the maintenance company into some sort of action and that the ‘water problem’ has been located. The 9^th floor apartment has a solar water heater on the roof, the pipes are fed from there to the apartment via the OTS for cooker fans. (OTS = Open To Sky). The pipes are damaged somewhere in their kitchen and the water is being fed to the 8^th, 7^th, etc all the way to the 1^st (ground floor). Our visible water is now receding, all we have to do is wait for someone to actually repair the damage!

Huan then shone even more with a duck stew, a wonderful change from all the restaurant food of the last three weeks. What did I do to deserve her?

March 14^th Slept in today, didn’t get up until half past eight although I did have to visit the little boys’ room twice in the night. No leaks though!

The whirlwind was off again today as we still had water problems. At one stage, it wasn’t just dripping above our kitchen ceiling but actually running. I think Huan managed to sort them all out, work is now ongoing on the 9^th floor problems and she also found an 8^th floor problem too. Here she is looking at the source of the damage.

I don’t know, as if I don’t have enough problems with my own waterworks the house has water problems too! I don’t think we’ll ever sort out the furniture. In the office, one side is MDF which of course swells with water damage. The other side is real wood but I have no way of seeing what damage there is there, it’s too heavy for me to move, at least until my internal injuries heal enough for me to shift them.

Still, I have a good nurse to help me along. She did leave me alone again tonight, all on my little lonesome, while she went out Dama Dancing again. She deserves the break though. In fact she brought three of the ladies back with her and then later another visitor turned up too. I’m all for it, now all I have to do is try and understand them!

March 15^th Still slept late today, nearly eight o’clock, I wonder if it’s the after effects of being in hospital still? Ready to go out when the maintenance men turned up again so this time, I left them with Huan and took off by myself. I really needed to get out for a walk and some fresh air too. I also decided to make a YouTube video, nothing special, just my “Post Hospital Walk”. Lots of talk about kegel exercises and leaky parts! You can watch it here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-XvVk0WzoVI&list=PLrm74YBD3qG5hMSefKtpaGIH2okgNoBLN&index=17&t=0s

Once home I removed all the dressings on my war wounds and took a much needed shower. I had been really looking forward to it but I will need a few more to remove all the leftovers of sticking plaster that held the dressings in place. I thought you might like to see the final result of all that digging around in my insides and I promise that this will be the last picture you see of my operation. Look carefully and you will see the four scars. These are the holes that they made to poke around inside and amazingly enough remove my prostate which was about five centimetres in circumference. I have no idea which hole they squeezed it out of!

After lunch, and more discussions between the residents and the maintenance company we had a visit from someone who will, at some time later in the year, repaint our office wall for us. Who is going to pay we’re not sure, it could be the owner of the ninth floor apartment. He’ll have a big bill! It will include some kitchen repairs too although I doubt we’ll have any joy getting our cupboards repaired, or the furniture in the office.

Evening time, relaxed dancing for Huan, back to ‘The Bill’ for me.

March 16^th The weekend is here! Maybe I shouldn’t, because it’s processed meat, but I haven’t a good old fry-up for over a month so here’s this morning’s breakfast. I really enjoyed it too!

Huan joined for me for my walk today, she had no ‘other duties’ to attend to. Walking is still not a very pleasant experience. Sitting is fine, no problem, lying down is OK too, even all night, no problem, but, walking = leaking! It’s not much but I’d prefer none at all.

Speaking of water, the river level was very low today, as it had been yesterday, although I didn’t mention it then. Huan had never seen it so low and I pointed out to her that the farm irrigation canal was also completely dry. Well, I suppose they do have to have a clean up now and then, a little bit of maintenance. What they never maintain of course is the river fountains. We have two and the only way we know they are fountains is through the pictures we have seen. They have certainly never worked since 2007 when we bought our apartment. With the river being so low you can see all the gubbins today.

March 17^th Another lovely fry-up to start the day after an all night sleep too. Perseverance, that’s what it’s all about, and I need a lot of it. Today we had to go to Ledong and visit our tenants. It seems that the building owner has now activated the security locks on the gates and our tenants need two “NFC Access RFID Keyfob Token Proximity Tags”. As the apartment belongs to us, only we can sign for these fobs hence the trip. I must say the organisation is much better than ours here in Wuzhishan. Two fobs were free, we only had to pay ¥10.00 for a third one for us to use on our visits. In Wuzhishan there was a ¥20.00 deposit for each.

Both our tenants are suffering a little, swollen legs and such like and the gentleman has a couple of injuries where he has fallen down. We reckon they probably eat too many Harbin sausages that their daughter sends them. It’s always quite a pleasure to see them, especially as the gent is such a happy fellow and always so pleased to see us.

Another bonus for this complex, which we won’t be taking advantage of until we have to stay there again, is that the pool has now been filled and the water looks to be very clean. Other tenants told us it was warm enough but they only swim when the sun is hiding in the late afternoons. I wish we had one in Wuzhishan!

There is also a new food court just outside our complex. It’s nothing special, just a typical Chinese ‘poor’ city food court but, it’s something and it’s close. Chicken bits and an ice cream for me, a burger for Huan. I mixed my ice cream with some cold water to give me a ‘fake’ milk shake. It worked.

We did have a little walk in Ledong, less than three kilometres, but at least it was a walk. We popped into the B.O.C to get my account book updated. So far it’s a great little branch, not busy at all. They always make us take a number and then send us straight to the counter as there is nobody else waiting!

Then of course, it was back to Wuzhishan, wearing my granny pants as we were driving again. Going over potholes, manholes or bumps can be a little difficult to say the least. It was highway for most of the way though.

March 18^th Monday again, so although we went shopping on Wednesday, today was back into the normal routine of shopping on Mondays. I had lighter coloured shorts on today so as walking makes leaks I was forced into Granny pants again. We did decide to buy some ‘lady pads’ (sanitary pads) for future use, they should be more comfortable. Sales ladies in our local store, Baijiahui, can never just let you buy what you want, they are always trying to push you towards something ‘better’, (read probably more expensive). I had been trying to help Huan but when she got into a conversation with the sales lady embarrassment set in and I made myself scarce.

A trip to the fish market followed, for Huan’s sake. I am told I can’t have fish for quite a while, it’s one of the banned foods after operations. Others are lamb, spicy foods, foods that are very hot or very cold, and would you believe it, even parsley! Anyway, Huan loves fish so I told her she can’t just do without it because of me, I can always have something else. We came up with the idea of Huan making a whole load of meatballs and freezing them so that when she has fish she can cook as normal and I’ll just share the veggies and have some microwaved meatballs.

I’m afraid the rest of the day was a F.L.O.G. day. Can you work it out? A Fat Lazy Old Git day, I was very tired and couldn’t be bothered to do anything at all. Huan wasn’t so lazy, making meatballs in the early afternoon, cooking dinner later in the afternoon and finally dama dancing in the evening.

March 19^th A longer sleep would have been nice today but I suppose it was too good to last. Woke up at ten to six bursting for a pee so sneaked out of the bedroom and left Huan snoring. At least the bed was dry!

We went for a mid morning walk, this time me with a ‘lady pad’ instead of granny pants. Today we walked for six kilometres, taking two hours to do it. The last half an hour felt like I’d really made a mistake by walking either too far or too long. I kept having the feeling I was dribbling, I wonder if that’s how women feel at that time of the month? Anyway, when we eventually got home it was nowhere near as bad as I thought. I guess I’ll just have to slowly get used to the feeling of going when I’m not until I’m all sorted out again. I hope it doesn’t take too long. Another reminder to all you men reading this, go for a PSA test before it’s too late!

So, what did we see on our walk today? Well, the jack hammers are back in action behind the house, and in this instance, he even had to hand held pneumatic drills for harmony!

And then Huan wanted me to take a photo of a succulent tree that was flowering. I did try and tell her that the background wasn’t so good but I obeyed orders in the end. The photo doesn’t really do justice to what we could see but I couldn’t find a decent angle.

The rest of the day was what they have all become since we came back from Haikou, lazy, with an afternoon nap, longer for me than Huan again. I also feel that I have a cold coming on. I guess having an operation is not quite as simple as it seems!

Huan volunteered not to go dama dancing but I insisted, she needs to enjoy her own interests and her own friends more, and more importantly, she enjoys it!

March 20^th Well what a pair we are! Huan woke up with a runny nose and I woke up with catarrh. I remember hearing my Grandmother using that word and wondering what it meant. It’s not nice! Anyway, I could be lazy and lounge around on the computer but Huan had to go to a meeting of the ‘eleven good people and true’. That’s a joke, the woman in charge, by default because the head of the eleven has never returned from the North since the committee was formed, is very devious to say the least. They are trying to organise another visit to the local government to oust the present maintenance company so that she and her buddies can take over with their own new company. She told Huan to say that Huan was present at the last meeting where the decision was made by a majority of the tenants. The only problem is, Huan was in the hospital with me! I asked Huan to stick it out and tell the truth, we’ll have to wait and see what happens.

So Huan came back and told me that the plan was for the existing maintenance company to be out by the end of the month (again). However, they will present the committee with a bill for ¥800,000.00. People were asked if they would sign acceptance of this bill, Huan refused. Quite rightly in my view, all members of the committee should have a copy of the bill, without signing for it, so that they can analyse it. That, of course, will never happen!

So after our usual afternoon nap, mine longer than Huan’s of course, and after dinner, I decided to walk down to the square with Huan and perhaps take a couple of pictures of either her dancing or me playing the fool. In the end I gave up waiting, they were too busy gossiping about the ‘Jilin woman’ and the ongoing maintenance company saga. Instead I thought I would try and get you a nice sunset picture. This one was perhaps a little too early.

And by the time I reached our roof, this one was perhaps a little too late!

Ah well, not to worry. I also met a couple of or neighbours on the roof. Like many Chinese people, they will try and grow vegetables anywhere, I guess it’s a throwback to the time when food was scarce and everybody had to try and fend for themselves.

March 21^st Good sleep, no getting up for a wee wee, woke up just before half past six. I can cope with that. Usual morning walk during which I was supposed to take some photos with my Fuji for the FB competition. I forgot the camera! We passed by the street market where I bought a single ‘Harbin’ sausage, it will last me two or three days. They are home made here in Wuzhishan so I am assuming there are no nitrates, or nitrites, included! I also forgot to take any other photos during our walk, not doing so well today am I?

However, I made it up for you in the afternoon when we took the car for a wash, something which it desperately needed! Now, if we only had a villa we could wash it ourselves… We met a new friend there, her name is Diǎndiǎn (点点), it means little. Chinese people, more often than not, give their dogs names with two identical characters. (Patrick did you know your dog’s name is “Peas”?

Just across the road from the car wash, which is a new one, you can see the top of one of the local schools, I thought it would make a nice picture too.

Now I didn’t go with Huan this evening, I stayed in to have a nice shower. However, it seems that they didn’t do much dancing today, instead they took a lot of photos of each other. I wonder if that is because as snowbirds, they will be off back up North before too long. Anyway, here they are, at least the ones that turned up tonight.

And here’s Huan, stopping the traffic!

March 22^nd I would love to really understand the complexities of the human body. This morning I woke up at around half past four for a visit to the loo, nothing strange about that I know. However, from then onwards, until I eventually got up, I had the feeling that I needed ‘to go’ despite having just gone. One day all will return to (almost) normal I hope.

Morning walk as usual, with the trusty Fujifilm in hand today. First stop was the car wash across the road, not the one where we went yesterday, which has now started selling cars as well as washing them. He hasn’t sold any yet because he is waiting for the government to pull their fingers out about registering them. You may remember we talked about the law changing as of 1^st March, after which time fossil fuel cars would only be registered via a lottery for numbers. Electric cars were supposed to be immune to that lottery and that is what he is selling. They are very cheap, from ¥29,000.00 to ¥39,000.00, less than a quarter of the cost of our car four years ago. The range is said to be 350 kilometres, I would doubt that myself. The cars can be charged at home, just like the multitudes of electric bikes and scooters we have here, but they cannot be charged on the commercial fast chargers. They will also not be allowed to travel on the highway as their top speed is only 55 kph. However, for many people it gives them a car to start out with, and of course for older people, (not us yet!) it gives them a runabout for shopping, visiting nearby towns, even Sanya or Haikou but via the normal roads. So here’s a piccie, would you pay three to four and a half thousand pounds for one? I might consider it, a few years down the line, if they increase the legroom!

Now I had the Fuji with me to take a green picture to enter the FB competition, as you already know. Well, I took over fifty ‘green’ photos in the end, probably far too many for me to make an easy decision. I did think of uploading all fifty of them for you to decide but we’d miss the competition date! This is not the one I chose but I thought you might like it. It is the main street through Wuzhishan and as you can see, we have no shortage of ‘green’ here!

March 23^rd Nothing much to report today, normal sedentary walk in the morning, there was a farmer’s market down by the river but you’ve seen many photos from there before. Well, there is one you may not have seen, a juice machine. It crushes sugar cane to make a drink, far too sweet for me though. Spot the QR code so that you can pay with your phone.

Afternoon was nap time again, I seem to be needing many these days, and they are usually two or more hours long. Is it still the aftermath of having an operation? I don’t know.

After dinner I decided to walk down to the square with Huan again. I had my trusty Nokia with me, all ready to record them for posterity, but, unfortunately, I couldn’t get them to do the ‘Birdie Song’. If you’re too young to remember, then Google it!

Walked home alone, all together now “Ahhh, poor Bob.” Thank you! Saw this in a local furniture shop and had to take a pic through the window. This one is for Patrick Quinn and Jake Canning. Surely this bike is more than 125cc?

March 24^th Lovely night’s sleep, woke up around seven, wish I could have a lot more nights like that. It’s been quite a long time since I’ve slept through as much as I have this week. We had our usual mid-morning walk and today spotted some wild life for you. I put all the photos up on FB where I referred to it as a cricket. However, based on the size, over twelve centimetres, I think I was wrong and it’s probably a locust. What do you think?

I left Huan gossiping along the way, I couldn’t stand around for too long, and slowly wended my way home. Now China, as you may or may not know, posts a lot of signs to encourage the people to follow the law, be kind and so on and so forth. Well I came across one sign which even Huan had trouble translating for me when she got home. It’s something to do with alleviating poverty. This is the bottom of the sign. Don’t you wish it was as easy as this and that you could find the tree? At least I’d have an answer for my Mum after all these years.

Lazy evening for me, shower and shave; more dancing for Huan.

March 25th “Rainy days and Mondays always get me down.” Well they don’t usually, but today was not a good day. I woke up last night at twenty past two, for the usual, and then tossed and turned for the rest of the night. God knows how Huan was not disturbed anymore than she was! “Why?” I asked myself. “Perhaps it was the coffee.” I answered. Since coming back from hospital I have drunk a lot less coffee than I used to, sometimes even ‘none’ a day. Well, it is a diuretic so I thought it better to ease off a little. Before I went in to hospital I must have been immune to the effects, even late night coffees didn’t seem to worry me. I only had one cup yesterday but it was quite a strong one around half past seven when Huan got home from dama dancing. Maybe I should go back to what my dear old Mam used to do, one coffee a day, mid morning! She always made it with hot milk, long before anyone had ever heard of lattes, cappuccinos and the like. In fact, we still make it that way now and then.

So, being Monday it was also shopping day. There we were, going down the escalator with our full trolley when suddenly, it stopped. Now I don’t know if you’ve checked trolleys and escalators in the last few years but they are designed not to slide, or run away from you. Have you tried pushing the trolley against all that friction from two thirds of the way up to the bottom? I can assure you it’s not easy.

Just to end our shopping on a high, we got to the tills, started unloading and then realised that none of our fruit and vegetables had been weighed and priced! At least the store wasn’t too busy so I could stand guard over what we had unloaded while Huan shot back upstairs to get everything priced up. Thankfully the escalators were working again! Worst of all, I didn’t even think to get the camera out for either of these unfortunate incidents. Blame the lack of sleep!

Some more dama dancing for Huan in the evening, a short walk round the town for me, and then back to ‘The Bill’. Roll on tomorrow.

March 26^th It was Huan’s turn last night. I have no idea what time it was but it started with the bathroom light followed by the main light in the bedroom. She was being bothered by a mosquito and her ‘tennis racquet wasn’t working! Still, I’m lucky that the mozzies choose Huan more than they choose me.

Huan was ‘called to a meeting’, the people from the House Book Office, (similar to the Land Registry Office in the UK), wanted a meeting with the ‘eleven’. Well, only four turned up, some have already gone back up North and a couple were busy. The government side said that in order for things to proceed the ‘eleven’ would have to sign a guarantee and put money ‘up front’. At that point, good on her, Huan left the meeting. Sometimes I wonder if anyone really knows what they are doing, on either side.

Yesterday, as you do, I had something niggling away in the back of my mind, I needed to buy something from Baijiahui. Old brains don’t always work the same as young ones! It came back to me during our morning walk today. We have two Baijiahui stores, a smaller old one and the bigger new one. Our normal weekly shop is done in the new one but I remembered that the old one sometimes has butter and cheese slices, not good ones, but OK for a sandwich now and then. So, we found the butter, a lot more expensive than Haikou or Sanya but at least it’s there when we need it. Unfortunately they had run out of cheese slices. I did find something else while we were wandering around though. If any of you live in China, or have visited, you may know that restaurants usually serve soups in enormous bowls. I thought it was time Huan and I had one each for our occasional big soups and stews. Here I am ‘modelling’ mine, what do you think? For some reason it reminds me of Boris Johnson!

Evening time and I was in trouble. Huan went off to her dancing leaving me to go off for a little walk. Well I surprised her mid-dance with a shouted “Bend your knees more, let’s see some bouncy bouncy!” at the top of my voice. Poor girl, I threw her timing off completely and was henceforth ordered to walk home alone, poor me.

March 27^th Not much to report today, we had our usual morning walk, nothing special and no photos. An afternoon nap seems to be something I can’t avoid these days, even Huan had nearly two hours today. Huan did her usual dama dancing in the evening and I managed to sneak up and take a quick couple of videos. Not a lot of smiles are there? Perhaps they need to watch some ‘Pan’s People’ or ‘Legs & Co’, both from ‘Top Of The Pops’ or maybe ‘The Tiller Girls’ from ‘The London Palladium’. Showing my age now aren’t I?

March 28^th I woke up this morning just after seven to hear Huan already on the phone. She was talking to what I suppose is the equivalent of the Ombudsman, here in China all you have to is call 1234. She was complaining about the length of time we have had no gas and the fact that trying to get it sorted was just leading us on a wild goose chase. It will be interesting to see if anything comes of this!

As you are probably aware, we don’t have much of a winter here, although being a big softy I still feel the cold at times. Anyway, spring must be in the air as they have started painting the bottoms of the trees again. Today we thought we would stop and ask them why they do it. I always thought it was some kind of pest control but according to them it was to make the trees beautiful. What do you think? Do they do this where you are?

Remember the new electric cars we saw? Well, there are also a lot of other forms of electric transport here, mostly scooters / mopeds. However, as Hainan is the ‘Bournemouth’ of China we also have a lot of old people and they use something like this.

This one belongs to our eighth floor neighbours, both of them in their eighties. He walks reasonably well but his wife not so well, so they use this for their shopping and to get to one of the outdoor gymnasiums that seniors use. Unfortunately, the police have just stopped him from using it. We’re not sure why, it seems that it may not meet certain regulations. My question would therefore be “Why is a factory allowed to make them and sell them then?” There could be an alternative reason, given by another neighbour, all electric vehicles, or maybe those over a certain horsepower, now have to be registered and drivers must have a licence. That I can’t argue with at all, as well as the old fogeys with their two or three wheelers, we see youngsters driving them all the time here, on their way to and from school!

March 29^th There I was thinking I’d done OK, sleeping until twenty to five after going to bed at half past ten, then deciding it was too early to get up so back to the land of nod. Not for long though, at half past five someone was ringing our doorbell! I suspect it was the neighbours but they’d gone by the time I got there. I could see light under their front door though! Too late to go back to bed!

I guess the ombudsman in China, (1234), is no better than the UK one. Today they told Huan that they had been informed that the ‘pipe is damaged’ and they are unable to help further. Back to square one, the gas man ran away with the money, the ‘boss’ of the eleven denies any responsibility and the maintenance company say the boss of the eleven is blocking the repair. Meanwhile all the residents who paid in advance for gas just have to either grin and bear it, or in the case of some, switch to bottled gas. Not so easy for us to do, there is nowhere to put the bottle!

Other than that, NTR.

March 30^th Huan decided she wanted a day off today, a bit of a rest, from walking as it were. She didn’t exactly rest, she did a huge pile of washing instead. As she wasn’t with me I went a little faster than we have been going. I suspect I may have overdone it a little. You can see from the lap times that by the time I had completed six kilometres I was struggling a little. I was definitely feeling it in my ‘blood drain hole’ which has not completely healed yet. The doctors did say to walk slowly and not too far in the first three months! After today’s effort, I think I may well heed their advice for future walks!

I got back just before the rain started, just a few spots here and there to begin with. However, by dinner time it was pouring it down along with some thunder storms to keep it company. That meant that there was no dama dancing today. Shame, because they had planned to all wear dresses and also all be wearing pigtails. I of course was going to do my David Bailey impersonation and photograph them for posterity. Ah well, maybe tomorrow…

March 31^st Strange weather again today but the rain held off. Seems like it may be coming earlier this year. So, you know all about the ongoing saga of the maintenance company, here’s the latest update. Today will be their last day. Yesterday, they carried out some repairs to some kerbstones where people ignore the rules and park on what used to be a nice grassy area. Check out the work. You may think it’s bad because they are leaving, I suspect it would be just as bad with anyone else, and I fully expect to see them working as normal tomorrow!

The river looks like it could do with a lot more rain. No doubt it will come soon. As it is now, the bed is quite dry and grass has started growing near the banks.

We see quite a lot of these birds on our walks, always in cages of course. This cage is a little on the small side. These little birds can be quite talkative, many of them know how to say 你好, (Nǐ hǎo), which I’m sure you know means ‘hello’. This one can chat too, but today he wasn’t in the mood!

Now we should have finished off this month with a group photo of the dama dancers, all in pig tails and dresses. That was yesterday’s plan, which got rained off, and today only Huan turned up dressed as planned. They promised they would do it tomorrow so let’s hope the weather holds and we can get the picture. Do you think I should be in too?

Well, we come to the end of March, shorter than normal, and with far less interesting walks. Slowly that will improve as my fitness improves and we can start going further and up the hills again. Until next month then, au reservoir! (French for ta ta.)

P.S. If any of you gents reading this have any questions about prostate surgery and its after effects, feel free to drop me a comment, with a way to contact you.

Road Trip, Hospital, Prostatectomy, Nurse Huan

To see how we reached this point, if you don’t already know, then scroll back to December’s blogs where you will find out!

February 21^st An easier start than we had expected. Initially one of our neighbours was going to come with us for a check up which would have meant getting up early enough to leave Wuzhishan before six. As it was we were packed and ready by ten to nine. Check the boot, it’s worse than going on holiday!

We had a nice day for it too, check this view.

Traffic was fine, nowhere near as busy as we had expected. After a three hour drive, we arrived safely and presented ourselves to the cash desk. Where else? The young lady asked for my passport, yet again, but surprisingly didn’t phone upstairs to check on availability of beds. “This is looking good.” I thought; I was wrong! No ‘single bed’ rooms available and no ‘two bed’ rooms either, we had to settle for a ‘three bed’ room. I was not a happy teddy I can tell you. Later on, after I had been for a walk around and seen what appeared to be empty bed spaces, we were told that they had been ‘paid for in advance’. If that’s possible then why on earth didn’t they tell us when we arranged the appointment? As usual, on checking in it was blood pressure time, 119/85, not too bad considering the mood I was in by now.

Anyway, they showed us to the room, here’s Huan getting comfy, that’s her pillow which she may well need later.

This is what Huan will be sleeping on tonight. Someone will come in and ‘unlock’ it to allow it to unfold. We brought a sleeping bag and you can probably see why we need the pillow. I’ll get another piccie later when it’s in ‘bed’ mode.

Organisation seems to be a bit off today, or should I say almost non-existent. I wasn’t given my three little phials for my morning widdle and poo samples. It seems they don’t have any to spare! No hospital pyjamas either, probably for the same reason. We were then told we could go out for lunch but to be back by half past two for the doctor. We came back, he didn’t! The nurse came around four for another blood pressure check, 117/75, getting better. We went out again around four thirty, for dinner. Don’t tell my ex-students but it was KFC, and it was probably one of the blandest chicken burgers I’ve ever eaten. Just in case you thought we didn’t have enough in the car earlier, Huan also decided to go shopping. Don’t ask!

The doctor still hadn’t come back, we will now not see him today. And here’s the last photo for today. Because we are in a ‘three bed’ room, and because of my bed’s location, I can’t use the laptop there. Instead here I am in the large waiting area.

February 22^nd Terrible night’s sleep, not unusual in a hospital ward I suppose. I had thought that Huan would have kept everyone awake with her snoring all night. She didn’t, because she hardly slept either. Early call came at quarter past five, BP time, 134/85. What do you expect, waking people in the middle of the night! As they had delivered my sample bottles last night that was another job out of the way, and a quick photo of Huan before going back to bed.

Half an hour later the nurse was back to take more blood tests, only four this time, not six like biopsy time. After that they let us out for breakfast, soup noodles for both of us.

At half past ten, lying there bored, the orderly turned up and asked why I wasn’t in pyjamas and on my way for a CT scan. We told him that we hadn’t been given any jammies yet and we hadn’t been told what time to present ourselves at the CT department. So, here I am in my hospital issued pyjamas, waiting to go in. Very fashionable eh?

Here I am being zapped, this time for some reason, on my chest.

Out again for lunch, this time a little Muslim restaurant and a Ròu jiā mó (肉夹馍) each. It’s a sort of shredded meat sandwich, very nice too. Back at the hospital it was another visit to the cash desk to top up the deposit, this time by another ¥5,000.00, going up quickly this time.

Both of us had a nap in the afternoon, topped and tailed on the hospital bed! About quarter to three we were asked by another orderly to follow him to the Ultrasound department. This has to be one of my least favourite departments. Not because of what they do, but because of the amount of time we are kept hanging around. I eventually got ‘seen to’ around quarter past four. This was different to the last one; it was a colour scan of my heart. I could have been sure I was here for prostate problems! Huan of course was doing her best but the translation was getting me very worried. 1) It’s not a big problem. 2) It’s a little problem. 3) It’s not really a problem. Back to the ward where the doctor said “Méishì” which basically means ‘Nothing.’ He also told us we were basically free for the weekend, apart from the mandatory temperature and blood pressure checks twice a day. Nursie checked mine for the afternoon routine, up a little more, 138/91, probably the stress of Chinese hospital planning!

Out for dinner again and as the weather had deteriorated we went back to the Muslim restaurant. I chose, (by looking at pictures of course), and we had Xīnjiāng dàpán jī, (新疆大盘鸡), or in English, Xinjiang Large Plate Chicken. Although I say it myself it was an excellent choice, one we will be having again. When we do, I’ll take a picture for you, I promise.

Back to the hospital, blog updating for me, laundry for Huan, (remember the shopping up above) and then “A Touch Of Frost” for both of us.

February 23^rd Well Huan slept well, she was snoring before I got to bed. Our neighbours complained in the morning that we were both snoring! It’s the weekend so we had a lie in; the nurse woke me at half past six for BP, 143/88, going up! Out for breakfast and then back to wait for the doctors. Nothing happened, it’s the weekend, no doctors so out for a nice walk, Espresso, walk, lunch and walk back to the hospital. We walked eleven and a half kilometres!

Once back, we waited for the next BP reading, in the end we had to ask for it, 143/88, same as this morning. So much for the walk and the rest afterwards. Out for another walk and dinner, only three kilometres this time. Shower, blog and Frost finished the day.

February 24^th What a miserable day! Morning BP 144/96, afternoon 143/83. Is it something about hospitals? Apart from that nothing much to report. We were free all day but the weather was too miserable to go out walking. After my mid-morning temperature and pulse check we thought we would go out for a drive. Unfortunately, someone was parked too close behind us, in the middle of what is signposted as a helipad, so we couldn’t get out. Evening time was trying to help Huan with her pad to check the lottery numbers, It took a long time, and it was to no avail, we failed again!

The evening was much the same as usual, but I did a little people watching before I went to bed so I thought I would explain something about Chinese hospitals.

First, food and drink – Chinese hospitals do not supply anything except a flask of hot water. If you actually need feeding, you have to either go out or order in. Around eleven last night I spotted a delivery driver, (motorbike) running towards the lift. It could have been for the staff but somehow I doubt it. They work for a company called Meituan, similar to Uber Eats I suppose and they are mushrooming in Hainan. I must say that in Haikou they seem to have a sense of urgency that is missing in Wuzhishan.

Second, visitors – What I remember from the UK is ‘set visiting hours’ and a limit on how many around the bed at any one time. Well what with food being ordered in, (see above), in Chinese hospitals visitors seem to come and go as they please and in whatever quantity they like. This afternoon I spotted six visitors around one bed in a three bed room. Just imagine if all three patients had six visitors each! Even our neighbour, known as middleman, had one last night, at midnight. They had to wake him up! (We have two neighbours, I am ‘bathroom man’, next to me is ‘middleman’ and finally there is window man’.)

Lifts – Because of the hordes of visitors at all times of the day, with or without food, the lifts can be very busy. We have walked up the stairs only once, well seventeen floors is a bit much!

February 25^th half past five, no weekend lie in, BP 141/88. English weather again! Had to go for breakfast in my jammies and dressing gown. I was already feeling a little rough after yesterday’s walk in the drizzle. At nine, the disorderly orderly was back telling me I had to go to the Nuclear imaging section. First the nurse gave the injection through what appeared to be a strange looking ATM.

I guess she had to play safe. They then gave me a set of instructions, drink, drink and drink again! The second instruction I didn’t really need, wee, wee and wee again! Third one, make sure you flush the toilet extremely well each time. Fourth, do not walk within a metre of children or pregnant women. Fifth, emphasised, DO NOT go in the lift with children or pregnant women. Sixth, come back at twenty past eleven to be ‘nuked’, avoiding all children and pregnant women of course. How can you tell in the first trimester?

I was then ushered into quite a scary machine. Lie down, (no language skills needed), strap me in with instructions, “No moving! No speaking!” You are then rolled in until you can see the crosshairs, and then elevated until your nose is almost touching them. My imagination was working overtime, wondering if this is what it felt like to be buried alive! Here’s the machine, which had the wonderful model name of “Hawkeye 4”; that impressed me!

The weather was still atrocious, and I believed I had caught a bug waking in the rain last night, so we had sandwiches from the little shop again. Not cheap by Chinese standards but we both enjoyed them.

We bumped into our American patient, (Brandon), after lunch, he has bladder cancer. I wouldn’t fancy his treatment at all and in fact I’m not going to tell you. You’ll have to Google it! We also met Mahmoud from Iraq, he has problems with both kidneys. They’re not sure what they will do with him yet.

Window man back from his operation after lunch, for him it was gallstones. I have to find ‘Only when I laugh - three guys in an NHS hospital’ for Huan to watch, I think she would really enjoy it.

Updated bill arrived too, no worries yet; we still have quite a lot of credit!

News from the doctor, operation could now be Thursday or Friday, a week after I was admitted. I have to admit though that the hospital is extremely full. It seems that all the patients waited until Spring Festival was over before checking themselves in!

Just to add to my woes, my temperature at lunch time was 37.6, at tea time, (or dinner time whichever you prefer) it had gone up to 38.5. She wants to tell the doctor. For me, it shouldn’t be a problem, not with another three days to wait! Blog catch-up, Jack Frost and book to end the day.

Last temperature reading of the day, up again to 38.8, a little worrying for the delay it could cause. Sweated all night though due to some medicine they gave me.

February 26^th Not much to report today, still a bit feverish so no walkies apart from lunch and dinner. I skipped breakfast, weather still rough. Morning BP, (05:30) 137/77, temperature 37.2. Second temperature reading at 09:30, up again, 37.8. Mid morning we got them to change my bedclothes and pyjamas which were wringing wet. Half an hour after that we got the latest bill, including the new bedclothes and pyjamas! Afternoon BP up again, 154/90, I wonder if it’s the money. Night time temperature still 37.8, now even more worried about extra delays.

February 27^th Morning BP 150/86, I wonder sometimes about these wild fluctuations but the nurses don’t seem in the least concerned. While Huan was out having breakfast, (I skipped it again today) the Head Honcho made his rounds with all the interns in tow and the doctor who is looking after me. Good news, surgery tomorrow! Bad news, more needles! First the nurse gave me a test to see if I was allergic to the general anaesthetic, I guess something may have changed since December. Then they took some blood to verify my type just in case I need a transfusion!

Next was a ‘military shave’, so called because the last time I had to do this I was in the army. Remove all the hair from just below the boobs to just above the knees! Next up was the surgeon who confirmed it would be a full prostatectomy and that I would possibly need some drugs afterwards. I presume he is referring to chemotherapy but I’m not sure. He seemed happy enough with my shave.

Nurse back with some kind of drip to help with my fever/cold and some kind of inhalator drugs used with the hospital oxygen supply. Here I am, on the vape!

Nurse back again, she was not happy with my shave and insisted she do it again for me. I tried, honestly I did, but ‘he’ wasn’t listening to me and slowly sprang to attention. I’m busy apologising, Huan said I was blushing and the nurse just blasé, said “It’s the same for most men”. Not exactly fair though is it, when they’re going to ‘chop chop’ me tomorrow!

Sent Huan shopping while I had a little nap, I had managed to break my reading glasses so needed a new pair. Message learnt for the future, take the spare glasses which we do actually have at home.

After lunch it was the anaesthesiologist’s turn to question me. You have to wonder what they do with all the information that is shared on the hospital computer network, and whether or not they all actually trust it. Still, better safe than sorry.

Another vaping session and another BP, down, I don’t know how, to 119/50. Perhaps I read the 50 wrong.

After dinner it was another part I don’t like, drinking a litre and a half of water with added electrolytes to make you go ‘number twos’. Isn’t it amazing how fast you can drink the same quantity of beer! This had to be finished in forty minutes and it wasn’t easy. Next is the waiting, last time it was four hours, who knows this time. Anyway, enough of that.

Next up was a meeting with our doctor and the signing of all the necessary forms. This time there were actually some English translations on the risks, and the side effects, of these kinds of operations. At least the doctor and I were able to get Huan to consider the possibilities. I’m not worried and I don’t want Huan to be either, but it is better that she is aware. The funny part at the bottom of the form was “Many other accidents”!

Another drip, another vape, another walk around the hospital grounds, another blog update, another episode of Frost another temperature measurement, (37.1), and that’s it for now. I’ll be back shortly!

PS Middleman promoted from 17^th floor to 19^th. Some years ago he had a pacemaker fitted and his heart check before this operation showed he had a blood clot, hence the transfer from Urology to Cardiothoracic Surgery. They can operate on his testes when he returns! New neighbour moved in, henceforth known as Middleman of course, but he doesn’t wish to share his problem. (He’s shy Mary-Ellen, he’s shy!)

February 28^th Operation Day! Lovely start to the day, 06:00 BP 131/82, temperature 36.0, nurse sticking suppositories up my bum! All followed by a shower. I then took a leisurely stroll down the 6^th floor Operating Theatre where I was given the number 18. “Oh my God!” I thought “I’ll be waiting for hours.” Well a few minutes later someone came to collect me and took me to Operating Room number 18, big sigh of relief. I don’t remember much more apart from some idle chit chat with the theatre staff so it’s Huan’s turn. Transcribed from her notes with minor editing.)

“Bob went in at 08:30, I saw the doctor and signed some more papers to allow Bob to have drugs to sleep. Walked around, found a balcony. Some tears came.”

“Still worried, went to waiting room, watched the TV.”

“Bob not out, still worried, can’t sit still so walked around, checked the operating theatre door.”

“Went back to the small room where the doctor showed me what he had taken out of Bob. He said it looked good but would be sent away for more tests. I didn’t feel hungry, still waiting for Bob. Two o’clock Bob out. He doesn’t remember but he said he loved me and I told him the same and gave him a kiss. Took him back to the bed where I saw many pipes coming out of his body!”

I’m back! In the ward, dozy but not allowed to drop off into a deep sleep for at least six hours. By eight o’clock I was feeling a little more human, couldn’t see the damage though. Health monitor connected on my left hand side, drugs dripping on the right hand side and oxygen in the middle, what a palaver! I have no idea what the drugs are but they certainly seem to target the right areas, all four of them. Yes, Huan told me I have four new holes! Also very impressed with the health monitor, watching my BP return to more constant levels was good. So, no walking, no food or drink, no reading and no Frost, only sleep was allowed. Have you ever tried sleeping with your body wired up and piped up? It’s not easy!

March 1^st Happy St. David’s Day! Early morning BP 111/67, temperature 36.0. I guess I must be healthy even though I’m a little ‘holy’. The pain of my first widdle was not good, brought back some very unpleasant memories I can tell you. The widdle is fed to a bag of course and to get there it passes through a tube stuck down the middle of my sausage. Panic not dear friends, no photos for you to see here! There is a second bag collecting blood from what I guess is the larger of the four holes. Where the terminus is though I have no idea.

Doctor’s rounds, “Move your body, eat a little soup.” Personally, the way my belly feels at the moment I’d be happy never to have a number two again!

Nurse’s rounds, “Breather more and deeper”. One of them was beating my back while giving this advice to help me bring up some phlegm!

Bed bath from Huan. Not feeling sexy in the least! Back on more drips followed by a short nap. We woke up to find today’s bill, here is Huan presenting it. This one was ¥21,000.00. At least we should be OK for any further charges.

The rest of the day was taken up with more vaping, dripping and napping. Had some soup for dinner, hope it doesn’t reappear too soon! We did go for a walk in the evening to visit the other Lǎowài (老外). ‘foreigners’, Brandon (USA) and Mahmood (Iraq). A lot of stories there but not for me to tell! Started feeling a little dizzy near Mahmood’s bed so decided it was best to walk home.

No laptop this evening, only another book, “70, Not Out”, very apt eh?

March 2^nd Still not sleeping so well, partly the ‘connections’, partly the ‘hospital bed’ and a big partly ‘snoring’! This morning I was woken at 02:15 by Huan emptying my bag, yes, it’s family’s job here, not nurse’s. At 04:30 I woke up again and could not go back to sleep due to the other five occupants, (of a three bed ward), snoring their heads off. I walked around for about an hour and a half, never saw another patient awake, never saw any nurses either! The rest of the day was the usual, vaping, dripping and waste disposal. We did manage an episode of Frost before bedtime.

March 3^rd I must be OK now, no BP this morning, only temperature. That was normal. We had a couple of short walks to break up the routine! Mind you, the routine was broken anyway when Flora came to visit bringing with her some chicken soup. Home cooked lunch made quite a change! Thank you Flora! More mundane stuff until the evening when I decided to update the blog and transfer all mine and Huan’s scribblings from paper to laptop. All photos were uploaded to the computer too and here’s one of me ‘back at work’!

March 4^th “Monday, Monday, so good to me!” No lie in, no BP either, temperature, sometime before six o’clock 36.9. That’s probably because I was sweating cobblers all night and woke with a heat rash yet again. It’s been there for a couple of days now, mostly through sleeping on my back and being very worried about turning over and becoming disconnected. Huan suggested antibiotics, I said most definitely not! We’ll ask the doctors when they come round. Huan took a photo but you can’t see as much as I can feel!

Doctor’s rounds, not much to say, no ‘forecast’ of events, but he did suggest the Chinese version of Calamine Lotion for my back. We’ll give it a go.

Nurse’s rounds, washed my naughty bits and put me back on more drips.

Intern’s (?) rounds, changed all my dressings. It seems I will have to keep them for at least another three or four days but he has no idea when I’ll have my pipes removed. Huan said three of my ‘new holes’ were almost healed. I can’t see them so she kindly took another photo. Don’t worry, naughty bits are well hidden!

Nap, drips, lunch, nap, drips, dinner, all food brought by Nurse Huan! Finished another book too and started the next one, looks like I may run out before we leave.

Today’s running bill brought to us, we are down to less than ¥2,000.00 of our deposit now. Looks like another visit to the cash office tomorrow!

A pleasant end to the day with visitors galore. First in was Jake followed shortly thereafter by Podraig, Patrick and Flora. We had a nice chat for a while with some of the gory details but not all. When they left Mahmood’s wife and entourage turned up. We talked about why Mahmood is always angry. I gave my tuppence worth but I’m not sure they believed me. Finally we had Mahmood himself and his Mr Fix-it for want of a better word. At least I wasn’t lonely today.

Finished the day with a little walk around followed by some Frost.

March 5^th I wonder if the nurses slept in today, we weren’t woken until 06:30, unusual for a weekday, and no BP or temperature taken. (They did take my temperature two or three times later in the day.) After breakfast Huan gave me another rub down, avoiding all the pipework of course. My back is slowly improving but Calamine is still needed.

Doctor’s rounds, not a lot to say, blood pipe should be removed in two or three days. No news yet about the tests done on my removed prostate.

Nurse’s rounds, wash the naughty bits, which look suspiciously like a plucked chicken with a straw down his neck! Reconnected more drips to my left hand port.

I mentioned before that families end up acting as nurses in China, and even pay for the benefit of being on hand throughout the night. Here’s a couple of photos of Huan doing her familial duty, what an absolute treasure she is!

I must admit I would be floundering without Huan. I mean, I wonder how many other patients had a Subway Turkey sandwich for lunch!

Around half past three my drip dripped its last drip and along came the nurse. She not only removed the bottle, she didn’t replace it with another one, and, she removed the ‘port’ on my hand. Huan told me that they said there would be no more drips, just antibiotic tablets twice a day. I just hope nothing got lost in translation!

We managed to get out for a walk so that I could see the sun, breathe the air, and we could buy some dinner to take back upstairs. Here’s me somewhere in the hospital grounds, as you can see I’m in an extraordinary amount of pain!

After dinner we visited Mahmood, his wife had smuggled in a slow cooker, she’s making ‘Bird’s Soup’. This is some kind of small bird, described to me as a pigeon, but I wonder if it's smaller than that. It is supposed to accelerate the healing process! Managed to escape back to our room before we were force fed!

It was eight o’clock before we were able to get on the computer tonight. There was no space available on the mains extension, (ours by the way), due to number of patients, and their visitors charging their phones and pads. Still, we got on early enough to complete the blog and watch some more Frost.

March 6^th What a lousy night’s sleep! Middleman is going under the knife tomorrow, we now know he has prostate cancer but not as malignant as mine. However, in his case it has spread to the lymph nodes. Despite that they are only removing the tumours and not the whole thing. Anyway, he had his son and daughter and their respective partners and his granddaughter visiting. You would think that a prerequisite for an operation would be a good night’s rest but it was after midnight before ‘lights out’ took effect! I was awake again at one and again at two with quite a lot of pain in my ‘little brother. Yesterday the plumbing support had failed and as the nurses were busy Huan had tried to fix the new one for me. Between us we must have got something wrong because there was no ‘flow’, hence the pain. I think I sorted it out in the end without disturbing anyone.

After breakfast we had the big boss’s weekly visit so everything had to be tidied up and/or hidden. In he came, along with the ward doctors, the relevant surgeons and a horde of interns. I gave up counting at twenty five! He is happy with the progress of my recovery, seems to think I’m very strong. Must have me mixed up with someone else! Still waiting for the pathology of the removed prostate to see if further treatment is required.

I had a personal intern come in after that to remove my ‘blood plumbing’. To my surprise it didn’t hurt at all, here’s a picture of him starting the job.

And here’s the result, all four holes visible. He said it will take about a week for this one to heal over, it will not be stitched as the others were.

He then redressed all the wounds. One less bag to carry around, perhaps in a day or two the other will go as well, although I may need Granddad nappies for a while!

Next up was a nurse to replace the urine bag, it has to be done every three days. I must have been asleep for the last changeover.

Another nurse was up next, this time with a survey for me to answer. I had to tell Huan to stop answering for me! I had no negative comments for her anyway.

Walk around the ward area, lunch, another Subway, bacon this time, nap. Walk out again before dinner, ended up somewhere outside the hospital grounds. However, that is not unusual here in China, you will see people in their hospital issue pyjamas with their wrist identification bands within quite a large radius any hospital. We bought dinner from a local ‘choose food’ place and then sat on a wall in the hospital car park to eat it. It turned out to be a lot more comfortable than trying to eat it in bed. Back to the ward and ‘Windowman’ has gone, replaced by a younger version with three female members of his family. ‘Middleman’ is back from his operation with five members of his family. His operation was obviously very different to mine, his was two hours where mine was somewhere between five and six. He also only has a urine bag, no blood one. Could be out before me!

With all the visitors, just for today, we decided that using the laptop in the ward would not be so easy, all those visitors would want to charge their phones on our extension so we went back to the large waiting hall. Sorted out the blog and the photos before watching another episode of Frost.

March 7^th Still in the large waiting room, very noisy in here tonight. So, last night was a bad night’s sleep again, nobody else’s fault this time, I just had a permanent ‘need to go and have a pee’ feeling. Nurses late this morning, well after six-thirty. However, I wasn’t complaining, I was already awake. No temperature taken this morning or for the rest  of the day.

Huan has been promoted! As the longest serving patient in our little ward, the other patients and their relatives, go to Huan for advice, information and reassurance.

Doctor’s rounds, hosepipe to remain in place for another three days!

Yesterday, Mahmood was very angry, especially with the helpers provided by his wife. Today no one wants to help his wife, (who it seems may not be a wife after all). She can’t stay as she is off signing a contract somewhere, so she asked Huan to help. Huan being a dummy, with a big heart, agreed Luckily her assistance was minimal and over once we had delivered Mahmood’s lunch.

Bad news! I have finished all my books. The hospital does have a bookstore and I had seen English titles there. However, whereas the Chinese books are real, the English ones are like theatre props, fake.

Good news! We got a ‘negative’ bill this afternoon. The hospital has reimbursed us for drips and drugs that we haven’t used. I’ve no idea; I just accept whatever they say.

Little walk out to buy dinner. The weather was miserable, still is, so we couldn’t sit on a wall in the car park. Instead we sneaked into what turned out to be the staff canteen on our floor. We got away with it and I have to say it was great to sit at a table again.

And so the end of another boring day, well apart from some more Frost, and the first episode of Cheers. Huan couldn’t keep her eyes open for two Frosties!

March 8^th Usual sleep, I’ll be so glad to get this last bit of plumbing removed even if I do end up wearing nappies for a while! Wrong way round today, Nurse’s rounds came before Doctor’s. Naughty bits washed again with Middleman’s son getting a good eyeful.

Doctor’s rounds, the pathology tests have come back. It seems my prostate, despite looking fine on the outside, was rotten to the core on the inside. In their words, “Very bad!” As a result I will have to have hormone therapy, not chemo. We’re not exactly sure what this means, I’ll be visiting Dr. Google when I return home. What they did tell me was I would have to have a needle every month, (aaaaaarrrgghh!), for thirty six months at a cost of ¥2,000.00 each time.

Next thing was another nurse with a random temperature measurement, all fine of course.

She was followed by the accounts lady who gave another ‘negative’ bill. Looks like we got a rebate on the pathology tests, aren’t we the lucky ones?

Just drifting off into an afternoon nap, topped and tailed with Huan, when another nurse appeared. She was there to give me the first of the thirty six injections. Cue cold sweats, beating heart etc. I’ll never get used to needles! This one is not a drip, it’s not delivered by vein, instead it is a subcutaneous one, into my belly area. The pain was very minimal but the fear wasn’t! The drug is made in the UK, just down the road from Sheffield where my daughter lives, in Macclesfield. Despite being made in the UK we’re still not sure what is is, here’s the box.

Coincidentally, today is International Women’s Day and I am starting hormone treatment. Will my children be calling me Mum in three years time?

Out for a walk within the grounds again and we found a nice stone table to sit and eat our dinner. Here we are enjoying the food.

March 9^th Another weekend, another long lie in, nearly half past seven before we saw a nurse. Half my dressings were falling off, Nurse Huan fixed them!

While Huan was out getting breakfast I took my usual walk around our department, ‘Urology Surgery’ and I noticed something odd, to me anyway. The department naturally caters for both genders but it would appear that 90%, or more, of the patients are men. I wonder why?

Went for a walk before lunch, about two kilometres. I found a route outside the hospital without too many people.

For some reason most Chinese people turn a blind eye to wandering Chinese patients in their hospital issue pyjamas, but some seem to almost look down on foreigners doing exactly the same. We had lunch, two KFC wraps, sitting in the car, with music and A/C!

Naptime overran today, we had nearly two hours, hope we didn’t snore too much. Out for dinner where it was noodles for Huan.

And fried rice for me. What do you think of the snazzy attire?

After dinner we went for another walk, just over another two kilometres in fact. We found a lot more villas, this little island, Hainan Dao, seems to have them everywhere. No good for us though, apart from not being allowed to buy one, they are also too expensive.

Shower time followed with Nurse Huan helping out to make sure the water was kept away from my various dressings and from my external plumbing. She was under orders not to ‘get naked’ just in case.

Evening time gave us our last episode of Frost and some more Cheers. I’ve come to the conclusion that weekends in hospital are mind numbingly boring, even more so when you have no treatment and have nothing to do except wait for Monday morning!

March 10^th That was the best ‘non-drugged up’ sleep yet! I didn’t wake up until half past five, even missed Huan emptying my wee wee bag at half past two. Kept dozing then until quarter to eight when it was time for my daily rub down by the nurse!

Lazy morning We packed some things up and took them out to the car before lunch, we should be out of here tomorrow.

Another long nap time for me, shorter for Huan though, the TV was probably disturbing her.

The weather was bad again today so no walkies, only to collect dinner, which we then ate in the large communal waiting room.

This evening, Huan was telling me how they washed the floors, with water only. Of course the water gets dirtier as they go round! There is certainly no ‘hospital smell’ here!

Blog update and Cheers. Minor worry when I emptied my bag, there was a small blood clot in there.

March 11^th The nurses were late again this morning, very unusual for a Monday. Ordered to clean everything ready for doctor’s rounds. They still hadn’t turned up by quarter past nine, but the head nurse had. I bet she was wishing she hadn’t with the grilling she got from Huan! I’m still in the dark of course.

Doctor turned up at quarter to ten with two interns in tow. The intern I knew removed my dressings before the doctor then removed my stitches. I wonder what they would do without their phones because they were using the two intern’s phones to shine a light so the doctor could see what to cut.

The dressings can be taken off after three days by which time we should be home. The doctor wants to keep me in until tomorrow morning, not really sure why but I’m not complaining. Hopefully, we’ll be on our way before lunchtime.

Huan went shopping before lunch. Guess what these are?

I fancied a complete change for lunch so when Huan had finished her Chinese feast I had chocolate cake and coffee, truly scrumptious it was too!

Back in the ward by half past twelve, plumbing still in, naughty bits washed again. I thought I’d have a little nap. Too late! The nurse reappeared at one o’clock to remove the plumbing, which, if you haven’t realised, is a catheter stuck down the end of my little brother! I do not want to repeat that in a hurry, it’s a very uncomfortable feeling indeed! Thank God I was asleep when they put it in!

The weather is still not so good so no walkies before dinner. I met Dr. Tim on the way back in to the hospital, always good to see a smiling, friendly face. We had a nice little chat, he may visit tomorrow before we leave.

Back in the ward where the first job was to write a letter of appreciation, as requested by the head nurse. She wanted it in English despite the fact no one will be able to read it! I had to make sure I mentioned the important doctors by name, then include the other doctors and interns and all the nursing staff of course. I was happy to oblige, they all deserved it!

More ‘Cheers’ then bedtime, for the last time in this bed I hope.

March 12^th And so we come to the last day. I had my first sleep in ‘granny nappies’ last night. To my surprise they were dry this morning but then again I had been up three times in the night. Dr. Zhang came to visit before he disappeared into the operating theatre again, he’s a very busy man. He advised me to only wear the granny nappies when absolutely necessary. He did agree with me that a three hour drive would be in that category.

Next up was a VIP meeting with all the team concerned with my procedure with the exception of Dr. Zhang. Even Dr. Tim was on hand to translate for me. Lots of info given, questions answered, my jokes explained for the department director’s benefit. Chinese people take everything very seriously whereas we Brits make a joke out ‘bad things’. My first return visit will be to Dr. Tim in six weeks time for another PSA test. Here’s the ‘A’ Team!

So when all was done only the formalities of escaping remained, this entailed a lot of hanging around. To ease the boredom a little, Huan started packing the car. We needed the bill for the last day so that we could go and recoup anything left from our deposit. It went well today, we managed to get what was needed before lunch so didn’t have to hang around until half past two as we did in December. A little more waiting for my antibiotics and then we were off, before midday. The last photo op was a ‘goodbye’ to our fellow inmates, the chap in the centre takes over Huan’s #1 position!

So, a summary – I came in here with a ‘healthy libido’, ‘fully functional plumbing’, a ‘slightly defective prostate’ albeit ‘firing blanks’ of course. I am leaving with a ‘decreased if not deceased libido’ for the foreseeable future, ‘incontinent plumbing’ for anything from a couple of weeks to a year or more, ‘no prostate’ at all, ‘probable erectile dysfunction’, and ‘firing nothing at all’! Oh, and I have four new holes in my belly! I will also be having female hormones injected once a month to try and lower my testosterone which is what the prostate cancer needs to live. Hence my jokes to the director about me growing boobs, golden locks and singing soprano! None of this of course is the fault of the hospital, rather it is my fault for not having a PSA test a few years ago. Take note all you fellows reading this.

As for the hospital, well, if you have to stay in a Chinese hospital do not expect gleaming walls and floors, bright sparkling bathrooms, the smell of antiseptic in the air, the bedside manner you are used to in the West, obvious organisation and planning etc.

What you can expect though is care that is second to none. Some doctors have a modicum of English but you may need help with translation, that’s where Huan came in. Without a doubt the doctors were superb before, during and after my procedure. I cannot thank the nursing staff enough either, they were also brilliant, and happy with it.

So that’s the end of this one off blog, we’ll back to normal viewing at the end of March. It’s goodbye from me, goodbye from SWMBO, and goodbye from my (very dejected) little brother!